Over the years, Rachel has become a target for some of the cruelest pranks known to man. Through our continuous pranking and teasing, she’s become a better person though. (She’ll be amazing at scamming people when she is older.) Here, are some of the funniest things we’ve done to her.
Merry [Super] Christmas
When my sister was little, she had problems with what I would call ‘religous identity’. She never really went to temple like my brother and I did. Obviously, the holidays were a time of great confusion for her. One night, my brother and I started a scam with a holiday called ‘Super Christmas’ The idea behind Super Christmas was simple: Their was a person name Super Santa who would come into your house and try to steal your things. Anybody could celebrate Super Christmas since you didn’t have to be Christian to be robbed. On the outside she was resilient to the idea, but Jon and I knew we had both planted a seed.
Later that night Jon dropped some comment about leaving him cookies or whatever. Rachel went to bed, and the plan went into action. Jon and I decided that I would make the better ‘Super Santa’ We set about finding things to make me a Santa costume. We Scotch Taped a whole bunch of tissues to my face reminiscent of a Santa at a crummy mall. Then we found a green Jester’s hat with bells on and a pillow case that would act as my bag of goodies. The final part of the costume was a pair of big dark sunglasses a la “Men In Black”. So after my sister was asleep, I snuck into her room dressed as Super Santa and started putting her stuff into my pillow case. Jon set about to rousing the sleeping girl. When she woke up and saw me dancing around her room dressed as Super Santa, It was quite possibly the funniest moment of my life. She didn’t seem to agree though.
“Pandora“
Before my sister was smart enough to verify things immediately with Mommy that “the boys” told her, Jon and I pulled one of the meanest pranks to date. One day, Jon came up with the idea that we bought Rachel from the circus. (Clearly not original, but funny.) Being the spinner of stories that I am, I figured I should spice it up a little bit. Quietly I added, “You know you’re name wasn’t only Rachel. That’s the name Mom and Dad gave you.” She was quick to retort, “Oh yeah? So what was my old name?” With a huge grin on my face I replied “Pandora.” This really freaked her out. Jon and I kept taking it farther and farther: Calling her Pandora under out breath, whispering it to her in the car, etc.
Then one day she was being mean to us (probably provoked) and something to the tune of “You know, we can send you back to the circus anytime we want!” sprung out of me. She didn’t seem to believe me…so I proceeded to pick up the phone, call 411 and ask for the listing of “Barnum and Bailey Circus Please” My sister went screaming out of the room crying. To repeat that scene all I had to do was even go NEAR A PHONE, or make a phone gesture with my hands. This went on for some time.
“The Nubber”
I honestly could not tell you how ‘the nubber’ got started. I think it was something my brother made it up. However, ‘the nubber’ for a long time was the multi-purpose fall guy. He did many different things. At some point he was a ghost, at some point he may or may not have live in hell. I think at some point he lived under the floor. It was messed up. We never really knew what the nubber was, but we still used it to scare the crap out of my sister.
“Hell Holes”
This one was all Jon. We told my Sister that hell was actually much closer to earth than she thought. Because of this, you can be walking around, and a hole can open up around you, and you’ll plummet into hell. I think at some point “the nubber” might have lived in hell and could have dragged you down into hell. One day while walking behind the couch (So my sister couldn’t see the floor) he pretended to fall into one such hell hole. Priceless.
“The Dribble”
The Dribble is quite a literal name. It’s derived from tickling someone. When my Sister used to bother us, we’d trick her into raising her arms. Then, we used to tickle her under her arms. The Dribble refers to putting your hand under someones arm, and moving it around. (Really tickly) Ultimately, we used to do this to each other until the person was lauging so hard, they could no longer keep the spit inside their mouth. Hence the name “The Dribble” Isn’t that terrible? Even more terrible, we use it like a verb. “I’m going to dribble you!”
“Patient Zero”
One day Jon pretended that he had a horrible new disease, and that it was contagious. This scared the HELL out of Rachel. She wouldn’t even go near him. Naturally, my mother had no idea. Until Dinner time anyway. When we all sat down, my sister was hiding under the table crying more than I’ve ever seen her cry at one time. Jon kept putting his foot near her to freak her out. It really did.
“The Computer Downstairs”
When I was really in my Flash animation ‘prime’ I came up with this idea. Rachel had this horrible problem with taking the clicker to the tv with her everywhere. It was annoying not to be able to find it. Plus, Rachel played Clifford and all these other annoying kids games on the downstairs computer, and she would leave them playing all the time. So I’d walk into the house and hear like “Ohhh Clifford. You’re so big and red.” It was really annoying.
So one day I decided to create a little animation. Basically, I made a really computerized face. And then I went on AT&T’s beta voice synthesizing website and had them create a clip that said “Hello Rachel. The Computer Downstairs said you were being mean to it. You better be careful, Or I’ll get you while you are sleeping. *WINK*” You can hear what the sound clip sounded like here.
“Periscope Up”
The other night at dinner, somehow, someone came up with the idea to look through the ‘OK’ sign. So, I told Jon “Wouldn’t it be messed up if everytime we said something to Rachel, we looked at her through the ‘OK’ sign? So, for the whole dinner, we sat there talking as we normally would, but only looking at her through the sign. Heh. To the right is my brother demonstrating for the camera just what idiots we are.