Sometimes he would leave
weeks at a time, riding freight trains
in between cars of hydrofluoric acid and diapers.
I imagined him with a bandana hanging off a stick.

He’s eventually return to my mom raising hell
about other women.
“Train Tramps” She’d call them.
I cowered in my room one night as they fought.
“What the fuck are we supposed to do while you trounce around by
train, town to town!”
She grabbed his ratty shirt, “Goat!”. Shaking him.
She tried to find sense in his face.
“This is what happens when you don’t take your medication!”
I learned to look forward to the smell of boos and railroads.

Sometimes he would return with things I cherish to this day.
He brought me a snuff box I keep earrings in.
“What would a 9 year old need a snuff box for?”
I asked myself some years later.

The trains finally got the better of him,
and he bled to death between El Paso and Dallas.

Dreams of early morning melodies slashed like paper cuts.
Outside the bedroom door
a single cockroach waits.
Ready to run over our naked backs.
I promised to take both hands to her neck until
sound inside her stopped.

I try to sleep, sure that labored breathing next to me will continue.
Threats of soulless bravado.
A future together,
dashed.

On the dull linoleum floor
bent on humble knee,
she kneels to a princess.
I find it hard to think a blowjob
any less dignifying.

Long blond hair falls over the back
I’m accosted by her perfume as she taps away
Important messages 160 characters at a time
About the guy sniffling profusely behind her
She’s drinking some obnoxious drink
Preceded by double or half
Post fixed by atté or oca.

I know better than to be wishing for the lid to pop
Soaking those leggings she adores as pants
And the top that plunges into her neckline
Like her serial killer neighbor
Making space in his
Garage freezer

I wonder if that
“He was always so nice” neighbor
Finally had his way.
As I rest my foot
On the back of her empty chair.

http://www.carbonfund.org/site/pages/carbon_calculators/category/Assumptions

http://www.appdata.com/facebook/apps/index/id/102452128776

http://www.carbonify.com/carbon-calculator.htm

28 million daily active users

15minutes/per person * 28million = 7 million hours

300 watts average power supply * 7 million hours = 2.1million kw

2,100,000kw * 1.5lbs/kw = 3,150,000 Pounds/day

3,150,000 == 1575 Tons/Day Carbon

“Can you push 73 for me?” She asked. She leaned back on the rail that surrounds middle of the elevator’s wall. She was dressed in a hip business casual way, she had on a tight gray skirt short enough for me to think Where does she work? and a white top that had no reservations about showing off her figure.

“Sure.” I pushed the 73 button for her.

As the elevator sprung into motion I asked her, “Headed back to work?”

“Yeah, afternoon meeting. You?”

“I’m going to an interview for some freelance work”.

“Oh cool, What do you do?”

“I’m interviewing for a social media gig.”

“Oh too cool! I play in social media too.” The elevator stopped somewhere in the 40′s and we picked up some middle aged guy who eyed her from the reflection in the aluminum doors.

“No kidding?” I said, as I eyed her left hand to look for a ring. Seeing nothing, I said, “Well we should have a drink sometime.” I handed her my card as the bell rung for my floor.

“Sounds good.” she said as I made my way past our middle aged friend and to my interview.

Later, I got a new message and friend request on Facebook.

Hey Josh! It was very nice meeting you today. I hope the interview went well for you. Anyway, I’d like to get a drink with you sometime. If you’re ever looking for anything more than a drink, I’m very *professional* and very discrete. Get a hold of me on Facebook, or text me …

As I read her message, I couldn’t believe that the gorgeous girl I shared an elevator with was … a professional. Despite being curious about her services, I was more curious about how much she used social media in her day to day life. If the world’s oldest profession can embrace the newest media, what can the rest of us learn from that? I asked Heather if she wouldn’t mind doing an interview. Here is what we talked about:

Josh: Hey Heather, Thanks for taking the time to speak with me today.

Heather: Happy to do it!

Josh: So how long have you been helping guys be less lonely?

Heather: Not just guys. And about 10 years. I used to be a receptionist and totally hated my life.

Josh: Not a fan of answering phones?

Heather: Not a fan of corporate bullshit. Being at the bottom of the corporate ladder lets you know just how far shit rolls down hill.

Josh: So when did you start using social media for your business?

Heather: I actually had a friend suggest it to me a couple of years ago. When I first saw MySpace I saw the potential, but while trying to use it I quickly realized just how ridiculous it was. Are they even around anymore?

Josh: Some people use them, just no one I know. So MySpace was too difficult to use…

Heather: Well, it was difficult to use it for what I wanted to use it for. Finding people was a nightmare. Facebook on the other hand ties you in (most of the time) with a geographic location. And if I think it’s you, I click, and I can look at your picture and decide. I’m not subjected to some terrible punk rendition of Pink Floyd and blinking star pictures. If I meet a John Johnnerson in Tampa, I can Facebook him and find him much easier.

Josh: So it’s much easier to find people. I happen to agree with you, the interface is much better. So the only thing holding you back was being able to find people you meet in real life?

Heather: Well, we have an “industry” term called the “turn”. It’s when you tell someone that you’re a professional. It’s when you kill there dreams that the flirty girl in the elevator wanted to take them to floor 69–

Josh: Hey now…

Heather: *Laughs* What I’m saying is that it’s a lot easier to explain to someone about what you do when they’re at home on their own computer. They can decide to ignore your friend request and go on with their life, or, more often than not, they write you back and things go from there. It’s a low pressure way to approach people.

Josh: You get more people you meet as customers using social media than you did before social media?

Heather: Well, after a few years you gain an eye for potential customers, but yes, combined with my eye for clientele, Facebook empowers people to talk with me, and allows me to dispel some of the stigma associated with being an escort. One of the things I hadn’t considered before trying it, was that most undercover cops or sting operations aren’t going to have a Facebook. I’ve never had a problem before, [She knocks on the table] but you never know.

Josh: Can we expect to see you on Twitter anytime soon?

Heather: Well, it’s tough. Twitter is very public in nature, and your messages are pretty limited. Would you like to see this from @TweetHappyHooker? @JoshuaZiering Nice to meet you tday. I’m a pro. If u want, lets meet up. I’m discrete.

Josh: I can see how that might be a problem. However, you could do something like @ShitMyDadSays. I’m sure you’ve got some good stories.

Heather: Sure I do, but I don’t know that the world of Twitter is ready for @HookerStories yet. Maybe. I’ll consider it.

Josh: Do you have any suggestions for other small business owners to use social media better?

Heather: Well, I think the most important thing is: No matter what you do, you can leverage the power of social media to do it better, more personally, and with greater ease than ever before.

Josh: Heather Thank you.

Heather: Thanks Josh, this was fun!