Pressure...

Understanding “pressure” as we conventionally refer to it is flawed. Too often, pressure is the lack of options. If the phrase were “Do or Die Or Get Ice Cream” it would change the intrinsic motivation of the situation. Perhaps then, we need to change the possible outcomes of any situation to include a third option and move away from the binary finality we embrace as creatures of fact. Creatively...

The Empty Seat...

Why Farmville Isn’t The Least Bit Green...

The following is an infographic I made about Farmville. I didn’t include the statistics for the servers that run Farmville, just the users.

A More Than Friend Request – How Prostitutes...

Heather (Names have been changed) is a gorgeous thirty-something brunette. The day we met, she shared an elevator with me in the Empire State Building. I hit the button to go to the 58th floor, and she trotted in, just beating the doors. The smell of very expensive perfume chased in right behind her. “Can you push 73 for me?” She asked. She leaned back on the rail that surrounds middle of the elevator’s...

The Huntington Beach Incident of ‘09...

I’ve held off on telling this story, largely because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to embrace how stupid it is, or if I wanted to take it to the grave with me. In the spirit of good memoirs, I’ve decided to embrace the stupidity. For a couple of weeks during the summer, some buddies and I got into an escalating series of “Who will blink first” style encounters. It started out small, like drinking...

Five Toasts You Need To Know...

Why Don’t We Toast? The other night while drinking and telling lies with a friend, the tenuous topic of toasts came up. A toast is a rare thing anymore, and those who do say more than one word before guzzling down drinks frequently do it in a language besides English. I think we need to change this. From the 1880’s to just after prohibition, toasting was an obsession in America, much like the drinks that...

How To Make AutoTune Effects For Free...

The Motivation Recently I wrote an article about how much I think AutoTune is ruining culture, youth, talent, and motivation. I came to the conclusion I have to swear off Autotuned music. To be fair about this decision, I decided to see how the other side lives: I had to be Autotuned. I very crudely taught myself how to use a free Autotune styled clone. I mean, if Autotune will work for me, it will work for anyone. I...

Autotune: You’re Fucking Bullshit. And IR...

First, this isn’t some scathing rant like you’d read on some audiophiles website. I’m just not that person. I actually wrote an article on “How to AutoTune Your Music For Free” to see if even a hack like me could benefit from Autotuning. The reality of the situation is that I am, in a way, disabled. I don’t have the ability to appreciate music like other people I know. I’m not...

The Great Mustache Experiment...

For years I have sought after some sort of respectable facial hair. If I could cultivate some kind of consistent styling, I could reduce my shaving to almost zero. That’s a huge plus. Towards this end, I made sure that I gave ample opportunity for my facial hair to prove itself. Unfortunately, after a couple of weeks, I always looks like a bear with mange. However, whilst shaving the other day I noticed that I had...

My Bad Edwards....

Last weekend I did a cross country trip in a small airplane. We flew to Bakersfield, California. Not a particularly exciting destination for traditional venues of fun, but there was an IMAC Airplane contest there. While flying 10,500 at 125mph I notice that we are rapidly approaching some airspace. For those that don’t know, Airspace is the equivalent of lanes on a highway. It separates different types of air traffic...