Five Toasts You Need To Know

Why Don’t We Toast?

The other night while drinking and telling lies with a friend, the tenuous topic of toasts came up. A toast is a rare thing anymore, and those who do say more than one word before guzzling down drinks frequently do it in a language besides English. I think we need to change this. From the 1880′s to just after prohibition, toasting was an obsession in America, much like the drinks that went along with them. I’m a firm believer that a well placed toast can inspire, lead, and thoroughly entertain.

The Origins of Toasting

The ancient Greeks used to perform “libations”. In modern day, you may have heard this term to refer to an alcoholic beverage. In reality, a libation is an alcoholic beverage, but one that is being offered to the Gods. The word, though often used by seekers of pretense, actually implies a great deal of humor about the drinks at hand. The ancient Greek custom was to stand up with both arms and cup raised to the sky, and pray. After the prayer was complete, the wine was consumed.

Where Do We Get The Word “Toast” From?

The English term ‘Toast’, comes from the practice of putting a piece of burnt toast into wine. Why would anyone taint good wine with burnt toast? Wine wasn’t always the delicious highly refined beverage it was today. Often times, especially in ancient Rome, wine was acidic, and difficult to drink. The story goes that because of a rash of poisonings in Greek and then Roman society, before dinner they would dip a piece of bread into the communal wine glass, showing the guests that the evening would be a safe one. The honored guest would get to eat the bread, and drink the last sip of wine, which was generally considered to be the best tasting. This lead to the discovery that putting a piece of charred bread into wine could help balance out the acidic flavors, and thus became customary at the start of the meal to say a few words and raise glasses.

5 Drinking Toasts You Need To Know

The Fighter Pilots Toast

(Feel free to swap out “Flying” for any number of fun verbs that fit there. Drinking works particularly well)

Here’s to me in my sober mood
When I ramble, sit and think
Here’s to me in my drunken mood
When I gamble, sin and drink

But when my flying days are over
And from this world I pass
I hope they bury me upside down
So the world can kiss my ass.

Three

In my room there were three,
You, my light and drunken me.
Three’s a crowd, there’s no doubt.
So I turned that fucker out!

1..2..3

Here’s to being single…
Drinking doubles…
And seeing triple!

Best Friends

My friends are the best friends,
Loyal, willing and able,
Now let’s get to drinking!
All glasses off the table!

To Me…

Here’s to the women we’ve met,
and the women we’ve fucked,
And to those amongst us who’ve had no such luck
Here’s to beer in the glass
and vodka in the cup.
Here’s to poking her in the ass
so she wont get knocked up.
Here’s to all of you and here’s to me,
together as friends we’ll always be.
But if we should ever disagree, then FUCK ALL OF YOU, HERE’S TO ME!
(Popularized by Tucker Max)