The fourth of July used to be my favorite holiday. I would look forward to it for weeks at a time. Fireworks made my life. Now, fireworks still make my life, but the Fourth isn’t as closely tied with them. Last night some fool was setting off fireworks about 2 blocks from my house. It was really mean because here I am walking my dog listening to all the fun this person is having.
Tonight, I suspect will be fun. I have a rendevous planned with some serious pyro-technics. This doesn’t even worry me because last night I watched this video of rich white nerds putting sodium or something into pepsi bottles, put the top on them, and then throw them. The bottles freaking EXPLODED. They took chunks out of the road. By comparison, fireworks have a fuse. Sodium is a lot of variables, and can explode at any time. So, yeah, that’s my rationale.
I started writing my stand up comedy routine for this show I said I was going to do. Last night (I just got out of bed), while browsing, I found something better than an open mic. It’s called a “Laugh Off”. Basically, a bunch of comics do like 5 minutes of shtick, then the audience votes on who they like the best. The winner receives 100 dollars. Though I’m not out for money, this is a prime place to unveil myself. Firstly because people who are actually in the business come to this place to watch new talent, and because it’s very informal. Now the only thing I have to worry about is: Am I half as funny as I hope I am?!
-Joshua Ziering