I went to the flower store yesterday to buy a corsage for my prom date, Magda. I don’t know if I can effectively convey how I felt inside that store, but I can try. First, let me illustrate my knowledge of flowers: They are pretty. Often times, they smell nice. Roses are red. Flowers happen in the spring time.
Ok, armed with that knowledge I went into that flower store. As I was walking in, these people in the back were arguing really LOUD. I don’t know what they were arguing about in a flower store. Flowers fix fights, not cause them. Anyhow, I asked the lady to buy a corsage. And so it began… She was like, Would you like a corsage or a wristlet? I asked her … what’s the difference. She pointed at her wrist, said some words, and then pointed at her chest, said some more words and then asked, So what do you want? I told her just give me what every other clueless guy has been getting there prom date. “So a wristlet it is!” Then she starts in with the colors. Not only did she confuse me with colors, but she started listing the kinds of flowers that come in that color. Ugh.
It was a trying 4 minutes, but I walked out of that flower store twenty five dollars lighter and with a receipt for a corsage….rather, a wristlet.
So as to how I felt inside that store, I think I can sum it up in one horribly uncomfortable situation:
A kosher Jewish woman, lost, unknowingly wanders into the Nude Homosexual Christian Butchers and Non-monagamous Arabic Cheese Farmers convention.
-Joshua Ziering