Two weeks ago I went home for the NEAT fair. I was almost washed away in a flood. The river almost took me away, I was a couple of hours away from being on a Fox show (World’s Worst Unbelievable, Most Extreme Natural Disasters). Since then, I’ve returned to Arizona. I’ve been putting off writing about what it was to go back East.
When I went back East, and I went into my old house, it kind of occurred to me that my house, is no longer my home. I spent the whole weekend fighting old instincts. Seeing the attic door open all the time made me crazy, until it finally sunk in that it wasn’t my room anymore. I miss things. I miss the creature comforts. The ice maker, the Bagel Chateau, a real mattress, quiet at night and my dog. Though my dog isn’t as much a comfort as a creature. Well, maybe some of column a and b.
While I was in town, I went to visit Ashley at NYU. That was difficult for me. Not only in a sense that I no longer can just see her anytime I want, but that I was distant. …Even somewhat foreign. NYU, it seems, is a very different beast from ASU. It upsets me because I specificially came to ASU for a good balance. A balance of work and play, airplanes and girls, school and drugs. I’m finding no balance. My school doesn’t FUCKING PARTY AND IT’S PISSING ME THE FUCK OFF. Part of the appeal I found was that once my work was done I could go party because *surely* their would be something to do. What I’m finding is that once the work is done, I’m bored. I’m alone. I’m in the middle of the fucking desert. While yes, I do have an amazing pseudo family here with the airplane guys and whatnot, I can’t kick back Saturday night and drink a couple beers and watch a stupid movie with them. I’m becoming frustrated.
Frustration. I’m frustrated with myself right now. I’m allergic to tree nuts. This is something I’ve known for a very long time. It’s never posed a serious problem for me. The other day I fixed this girls computer. She lives way, way, out in the middle of nowhere which is conveniently accessible from Tempe. When I say nowhere, I mean nowhere. Like area 51 nowhere, like nuclear testing nowhere, like indian reservation nowhere. So as we’re driving back, she has these amazing smelling home baked cookies. She inquires if I’d like them. Before even thinking about eating one, I ask her if they have nuts in them. So she says no… And I eat one. Did I mention she’s really cute? How could I say no? Guess what…. They were cooked with nuts, or had ground up nuts or nut oil or something equally gay. So I got pretty ill. Alright, I was downright sick. I didn’t let it show though! So what came out of this whole ordeal? Well, I’m getting an Epi-pen so I can inject myself with adrenaline the next time my throat decides it wants to close up. Sweettt. I think this was an omen. An omen of things to come if I keep fixing other peoples computers.
I really, really, really miss cookies. And Tuna Melts. And Subs. And Pizza. And brownies. And pot. And pot brownies. I miss the Lebarron. And I miss my friends. I miss my dog. I miss my family. I miss my own bed.
What’s the point of this post? I don’t know. I cried on a train. It was so ‘emo’. I wanted to write about it. Here we are.
Joshua Ziering