Tonight, Ashley and I went to Montclair for Emily’s birthday party. It was right near this Starbucks I went to a couple of times. Anyhow, we found the place no problem. The problem at hand was parking.
There is a pretty sizeable lot, and all of the spaces are taken. As we’re driving around this circle, I notice this NICE Mercedes C Class Sedan (Silver) parked over two spaces. We drive around the circle again and again. Still no spots. Each time we drive by this car parked over the line, I get more and more upset. This person was inconsiderate enough to deny us a parking space because his car was better than everyone else’s. I finally reached my boiling point when we had to park illegally somewhere with a little sign “Reserved parking for Celia’s Flowers” or something equally foreboding. I said to Ashley, “You know, We should leave a note.” And so, as I do on so many other occasions, I started writing.
“Thank you for being so considerate as to allow everyone to have a parking spot.People like you really make the world a better place. You’re a bitch bastard.
All My Love, Steven Tenlo Ph.D”
So, we went and started our dinner. I met this really cute waitress who was going to be a sophmore at Montclair State. That’s secondary though. We watched as this guy got into his car, (He had two other cars waiting to occupy those spots) got back out of his car, take the note, read it, and drive away. He was with his family. All the while, I was watching this, and laughing and laughing. It was better than drugs.
What’s something an idiot loves to do? Get the last word. When I got home, my parents asked me if I left a note on someone’s car. I told them I did. Anyhow, he called up fiery mad about this note. From my sister, It went something like this:
Sister: Hello
Dude: <ANGRY AS HELL> IS JOSHUA ZIERING THERE !?
Sister: Nope …
Dude: I NEED TO SPEAK TO YOUR FATHER. GOD IM SO DISSAPOINTED. UGH!
Dad: Hello?
Dude: I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU WHAT JOSHUA DID WAS SO INNAPROPIATE. IM SO MAD. IM SO DISSAPOINTED.
Dad: Ok … I’ll relay that information to him.
Ok, my parents are cooler than most. Unfortunately, I haven’t trained them yet in the ways of *69. I would have like to spoken to this guy since he was so eager to ‘Let me have it’.
The question remains: How did he track me down?
This guy was enough of a loser to go home, and type Steven Tenlo into Google. Guess what pops up? The “Who Am I?” from my site. From there, he looked up my phone number in the telephone book, and called my house. Soo apparently, not only is he inconsiderate, he must not have a life. It makes me happy to think I pissed him off enough for him to waste his time on me. He certainly wasted enough of mine while we scoured for a parking spot. I even got his IP Address and Host Mask. Sure… It would be wrong for me to send him angry MS Messenger Spam, and to give him a denial of service attack … but damn it’s tempting.
So, if I had to say one thing to this guy, I think it’d be along the lines of: “Take your nice car, and get fucked …. Sir”
-Joshua Ziering