I moved into my new place on Thursday. It’s something of a bachelor paradise. Last night, their was a huge party at my place. I had a great time. It’s so cool to be throwing the party instead of trying to talk your way into it.
Anyhow, as the night progressed, those drinking, became more and more drunk. It was kind of a deteoriating situation really. Anyhow, one of the girls there managed to get really drunk. The party was still raging when I decided it was time to sleep. As I walk into my room I notice that my dog bed (I am sleeping on a fouton priorly used as a dog for it’s bed.) is occupied by a very drunk blond girl. At my feet lay a huge decision, what’s a guy to do?
After pondering for a micro-second, I did what any red blooded american guy would do. I woke the bitch up and told her to peace the fuck out of my bed. Damnit. (For those who don’t speak ebonics: I roused her from a sound sleep, helped her up, helped her stumble out of my room and find a place to sleep on the couch.) I’ll pretend I can’t hear you thinking the comments about ‘the blind leading the blind.’
I swear I am not gay, just moral. And I promise I am just moral, not religious.
Joshua Ziering